


Back To Who I Am

by IbewhoIbe



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Aogiri no Ki | Aogiri Tree (Tokyo Ghoul), CCG - Freeform, CCG Juuzou Suzuya, Flashbacks, Ghoul Seidou Takizawa, Juusei, M/M, Memories, Seidou is still a cinnamon roll even as a ghoul, Seidou loves his Juuzou
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-04 17:00:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14597577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IbewhoIbe/pseuds/IbewhoIbe
Summary: Accepting that he is now a ghoul, Seidou Takizawa hopes to reunite with his lover soon and to find out just where does he exactly belong.





	1. Missing You

**Author's Note:**

> My first work for this fandom and decided to do Juusei since I love these dorks so much and plus there's not much for this ship either. Would like to thank YunoJuno for inspiring me with their fics. I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I did writing it (:

 

 

 

Throughout these past months, Seidou Takizawa never felt so dead. It was like something was missing from his life. Or was it a certain someone?

 

In his dreams he sees the same boy with red stitches on his pale skin, and white tresses that barely touch his shoulders. Was he someone important? Did Seidou know him somehow?

 

The past has been kind of a blur from him. He didn’t know who he was before. All he knew was that his name was Seidou Takizawa and that he is a ghoul. He much rather prefer being a human but being a Ghoul is okay, better than being dead and useless.

 

Getting up from his mattress he catches a glimpse of himself in a mirror. No! Did he really look like this? He looked different in his dreams! He didn’t have white hair or extremely pasty pale skin nor did he have bags underneath his eyes. He didn’t look as . . . ugly.

 

Maybe he’ll take a walk and figure this mess out. He goes into Kurona’s room next door and uses some of her face makeup to hide the bags underneath his eyes. Out of everyone in aoigiri, she was the only person he could have a normal conversation with. No one else seemed as approachable as her.

 

Ayato gives the Ghoul a weird look as he walks out the hideout.

 

 

Seidou hopes no one can tell he hasn’t eaten. Ever since he’s been a Ghoul he hasn’t ate. Not even once. He wants to keep it that way but with the major headaches he’s been having he doesn’t know how long he’ll last. He just doesn’t know how they do it. How can you eat an innocent person who hasn’t done a thing to you? Especially a young child. Maybe, he could eat a rapist or a molestor so he won’t feel as bad having to kill someone.

 

He sees a young couple taking a stroll around the park with ice cream cones in their hands. There’s this little pound on the back of his head and he’s back into a vision.

 

 

 

“ _Ooooo!” The white haired boy in his dreams exclaims staring hardcore at the ice cream cone a little girl had that was drizzled with caramel and sprinkles._

 

_“Do you want one?” Human Seidou asks him._

 

_“Yah! But there’s no way I can. I only have one dollar.” He whines looking at his empty wallet._

 

_“I’ll give you the two extra dollars but you’ll have to pay me back.” The brunette pulls out two bills from his back pocket._

 

_“Wow! Thanks! Let’s share it, okay!?” The boy’s eyes lit up and Human Seidou’s heart froze for a second._

 

_“Nah, I don’t like sweets as much as you do. It’d just be a waste.”_

 

_“Okay. Don’t say I didn’t ask.” He runs off to the ice cream stand and Human Seidou stares at him from the bench._

 

 

“Get out of the walkway!” A old middle aged man pushes past Seidou interrupting his vision.

 

Seidou continues to walk not wanting to get in anyone else’s way. Did he have a memory here? What the hell was that? It was him but who was that boy? Something in his heart did tell him he knew him in his past life. But how important was he to him?

 

 

The Ghoul feels a gnawing pain in his abdomen. He must eat something. Seidou sees a small figure from the distance and without even thinking he sprints over to it tackling the figure to the ground.

 

The figure lets out a high pitch cry. Seidou opens his mouth wide and-

 

“Monster! Get away from me, ugly monster!” A voice of a kid cries pushing Seidou off of him.

 

The kid cries running away.

 

Seidou kneels on his knees listening to the words replay on his head.

 

_“Monster! Ugly monster!”_

 

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I was just hungry.” Seidou mumbles hugging himself.

 

He couldn’t believe he almost did that! He couldn’t eat a child! In fact, he couldn’t bring himself to eat human flesh! There’s no way!

 

The Ghoul gets back up on his feet and continues his path. He stops in front of a restaurant that was filled with teenagers. Some were dancing outside to the music blasting from the speakers placed on the walls.

 

There it was again. A pounding from the back of his head, and here he was placed in another vision.

 

 

_He was outside the restaurant with the same white haired boy except this time they weren’t alone. A girl with a short bob and a older man with short black hair. Did he know them too?_

 

_“I love this song! Come dance with me!” The white haired boy gets up out of his seat dragging Human Seidou to the dancing crowd._

 

_A catchy pop song was blasting out from the speakers. It wasn’t in their native language, could it be from America??? Obviously, it didn’t matter cause people were having a good time regardless if they knew the lyrics or not. Both Human Seidou and the white haired boy move their bodies to the music and share a few smiles and laughters. Human Seidou didn’t know why but whenever he was with this boy he felt good. He was always happy with him and felt like nothing in this day can go wrong._

 

 

Seidou almost trips on his feet when a little girl pushes past him knocking him out of his vision. It seems like he definitely was human before he was a Ghoul. Now, who are these people who kept recurring in his visions? He must know them someway but how? Did he go to school with them? Did he work with them? Were they best friends?

 

Seidou decides to head back to the aoigiri tree hideout. He wasn’t accomplishing anything out here and he was afraid he was gonna prey on another innocent human being.

 

The Ghoul sighs in relief laying back on his mattress then his door bursts open.

 

“Get ready tomorrow evening we’re going downtown to kick some CCG ass. The CCG isn’t holding back this time. I don’t know what’s going on with you but you’ve been slacking! If you keep this up, you’re outta here!” His boss, Ayato Kirishima yells.

 

“Ok.” Is all Seidou says.

 

The purple haired boy grumbles slamming the door after him.

 

 

CCG???? It did ring a bell. He knew it was an organization that hunted ghouls. What did he have to do with it?

 

Again, he was knocked back into another vision.

 

 

_It was a bright Monday morning. Human Seidou had just finished his fitness test and was accepted into the CCG. Today, he was hoping to meet his comrades. Someone who had the same goals as him. The brunette wanted to exterminate ghouls for good after what they done to humanity. Feeding on human flesh, how appalling and evil._

 

_The brunette walks into a office with only one other person in it. A white haired boy with red stitches on his pale skin sitting in his chair like a child. Don’t tell me this person was gonna fight alongside with him? No way!_

 

_“Hi! I’m Juuzou! What’s your name?” The boy gives the brunette a bright smile noticing him._

 

_“Uh, it’s Seidou.” He nervously rubs the back of his neck._

 

_“Looks like we’ll be in the CCG together.” Juuzou says as Human Seidou sits next to him. “I look forward to working with you.”_

 

_“Yah, me too.”_

 

_God, he was so weird but beautiful at the same time. Those stupid red stitches, those red clips in his hair, and his creepy laser red eyes. Human Seidou didn’t know how he felt about this Juuzou guy. A part of him feels like he wants to get to know him but the other half feels like he’ll only slow him down._

 

 

 

“Juuzou.” The word escapes Seidou’s lips.

 

Juuzou. Juuzou. Juuzou! Oh god! How could he forget about him! His first love! The last person he’s held and kissed. Now he sees the importance of the white haired boy. Is he even still alive? Would he be happy to see Seidou? Whether or not, Seidou hopes to see the boy tomorrow. He wanted him to know he was alive and well. That’s all he’s looking forward to tomorrow is to see his lover again.

 

“I still love Juuzou.” Seidou whispers in the dark room, his hand reaching for nothing but air.

 


	2. I Won't Let Go Now That I Found You

 

 

_It’s a beautiful Saturday evening. The day of a formal CCG party gathering for Amon’s birthday which was held in the lobby. Everyone had to dress in appropriate attire. Men in suits and women in dresses._

 

_Human Seidou arrives early to help set up the party with Akira. He settled with a barely worn black tux he used for his senior prom. He left his hair in its shaggy state though looking at all the men with their hair gelled back he wished he did the same._

 

_The brunette looks around hoping to see a special someone. The room is filled with beautiful men and women of the CCG but someone was missing._

 

_“Hi Seidou!” Juuzou appears in front of him scaring the goddamn boy._

 

_Juuzou looked completely different like he had a whole new makeover. His stitches were oddly gone, there were no clips in his pale hair letting his bangs get in his face above his eyes, plus the black suit he was wearing was stunning. There’s no way no one could recognize him._

 

_“Wow, Juuzou. Why did you do that?” Human Seidou asks._

 

_“Just wanted to try something different. It’s only for today cause it’s formal.” The boy answers. “I know you’re not used to seeing me like this. I’m sorry.”_

 

_“No, you look beautiful.” He bows his head. “I didn’t mean what I said earlier. I know it sounded rude.”_

 

_“It’s okay.” He gives him a small smile._

 

_That night both Human Seidou and Juuzou had a wonderful time of dancing, singing, and stealing food from the kitchen. Juuzou was dragging Human Seidou down the street._

 

_“Where are we going?” The brunette laughs letting Juuzou pull him._

 

_“To my apartment! It’s not far, it’s down the block.” Juuzou answers._

 

_The white haired boy didn’t live in a totally run down apartment but he didn’t live in a luxurious one either. But to Human Seidou it felt just right. He almost felt at home._

 

_On the third floor you can find Juuzou’s apartment. It consisted of one bedroom, a living room, and a kitchen. The two get busy on the couch not keeping their hands off of each other._

 

_“You know, tomorrow could be the last time we might see each other.” Juuzou pulls away from the kiss._

 

_“Don’t think like that.”_

 

_“The ghouls are somehow getting stronger. At least half of our CCG members are either killed or injured. Tomorrow we might lose more than half.”_

 

_“I told you not to think like that. You’re gonna be okay.”_

 

_“Oh, I know I’m gonna be okay. I’m just worried for you.” Juuzou teases._

 

_“Thanks.” Human Seidou blandly looks at him._

 

 

“It’s time to go, Seidou! What’re you doing?” Kurona barges in his room.

 

“Sorry, I wasn’t listening.” The Ghoul turns his attention to her facing away from the window.

 

Damn, those visions.

 

“You’ve been acting strange lately. It’s like your mind isn’t here.” She states.

 

“I’m fine. I promise. I’m ready.” Ready to find Juuzou no matter the cost.

 

 

Both Kurona and Seidou run through the night in their black cloaks. A few CCG members come in contact with them but Kurona took care of them. Seidou gives Kurona a apologetic look before splitting ways. Finding Juuzou is his number one priority right now.

 

Something however catches his eye. A small boy with raven hair getting thrown across the ground by a Ghoul. Seidou sees a glimpse of something purple and shiny. A scythe. No one other than Juuzou would have that kind of weapon. It had to be him. He did look a little different but Seidou knew it was his Juuzou. The same scarlet red eyes and stitches. The Ghoul moves closer to the raven cornering him.

 

 

Before he knew it, Seidou was sprinting towards them his talons ready to cut a bitch. His talons pierce through ghoul’s neck and with a thud it’s head falls onto the ground.

 

The white haired man feels a piercing pain in his lower abdomen and then he’s coughing up blood. He looks down finding a dagger in his skin. Juuzou had stabbed him.

 

“Get away! I have more!” Juuzou warns holding his knives.

 

“Hi Juuzou.” Seidou says and the raven’s eyes widened.

 

“Seidou?????” The boy gasps. “No! I thought you had died!”

 

 

_It was a flashback in time. Juuzou and Human Seidou were fighting side by side taking down ghouls one by one._

 

_“I think that’s all of them.” Human Seidou sighs._

 

_And now the brunette had jinxed himself. In front of the two was a Ghoul twice their size with raging kagunes._

 

_“We can take him on.” Juuzou says._

 

_“Are you kidding? He’s way out of our league! We’ll die! Let’s go!” Human Seidou grabs Juuzou’s wrist._

 

_“No! We can fight him! I know we can!” Juuzou pulls away from his grasp._

 

_“Come on, don’t do this!”_

 

_The Ghoul almost launches an attack on Juuzou with one of its kagunes but Human Seidou pushes Juuzou away taking the pain. The brunette feels more pierce his two arms._

 

_“Seidou. . . why??????” The white haired boy gasps._

 

_“Isn’t it obvious?” Human Seidou smiles at the ground. “Because I love Juuzou-kun.” And then he coughs up blood._

 

 

 

“You’re here for revenge, right?” Juuzou questions glancing up at the Ghoul.

 

“No! Of course not! I’m sorry Juuzou, I’m sorry I failed you and the CCG. I became something I promised I would never be.” The white haired man kneels down and Juuzou embraces him into hug.

 

“It’s okay, Seidou.”

 

“No it’s not. I should’ve died back then.”

 

“I’d rather have you like this than never being able to see you again.” The raven then smashes his lips against the other. Seidou kisses him back with even more force but he didn’t hear the boy cry into the kiss.

 

“You bit me.” Juuzou states pointing at the cut on his lip that was now oozing blood.

 

“I’m sorry, Juuzou.” Seidou lets out an infuriating cry curling his fingers into his hair. This head ache hurt so much! His stomach did too.

 

“Is it because you’re hungry? Juuzou asks.

 

“I never eaten human flesh and I’ll never will.” He stares at the ground.

 

“You have to or you’ll die! Here!” Juuzou pushes his leg in front of the other his foot pressing against his cheek.

 

“I’m not eating your foot, Juuzou.”

 

“Don’t be stupid, Seidou!” The raven snaps.

 

“Forget it! I’m not eating you.”

 

“I deserve it after what you had did for me!” Juuzou cried.

 

“I would’ve done that for you all over again. I don’t need a reward.” Seidou scoffs.

 

“Please Seidou! I don’t want you to go out like this!”

 

The Ghoul grips Juuzou’s legs and bites down against his inner thigh. Hearing the raven’s cry of pain, a tear slips down Seidou’s cheek. It didn’t feel right, no matter how good his flesh tasted.

 

“I can’t. It hurts.” Seidou faces away.

 

“It hurts you?” Juuzou raises an eyebrow.

 

“No, it hurts YOU.” Seidou looks at him. “I want you to keep your leg, okay? I’ll be fine.”

 

“Okay, Seidou.” The raven gives him a half eyed smile. Oh no, he was losing consciousness from the blood.

 

“Come on, I’m taking you back to your apartment.” Seidou picks up the other.

 

“Only if you stay with me.” Juuzou singsongs.

 

“Whatever. Not like I don’t have anything else to.”

 

 

 

Most of the chaos had died down anyway. Seidou pushes past dead bodies of ghouls or CCG members.

 

A certain smell hits Juuzou nose. “Is that pizza?????”

 

“I guess.” Seidou says as the walk past a pizza place.

 

“Lets get pizza, I’m hungry.” Juuzou whines.

 

“At a time like this!?” Seidou’s eyes widened.

 

“I want pizza! I want pizza!” The raven throws a tantrum.

 

“Ok ok, we’ll get a pizza to go. Let me just cover you up.” Seidou takes off his hoodie wrapping it around Juuzou’s torn apart thigh. However that didn’t stop the bleeding as they walked in the restaurant.

 

“Um, can I help you?” The employee trembled standing in front of the register.

 

“We want a large pepperoni to go.” The Ghoul answers handing him a ten.

 

“Is he okay??????” He points at the dizzy Raven.

 

“Yah, he’s just hungry.” Seidou lies.

 

 

Under five minutes, they had gotten their pizza. The Ghoul has Juuzou on his back while he carried the pizza in his hands.

 

He was never doing this again. They had gotten so many weird looks from the other customers and employees.

 

Despite all the blood, Juuzou still managed to smell somehow good to Seidou. Seidou could always smell the light scent of strawberries on Juuzou. Sometimes he’ll smell like vanilla or coconut. It was almost nostalgic remembering their times together in the CCG.

 

 

The Ghoul brings Juuzou into his apartment sitting him down on his bed and the pizza on the night stand.

 

“Give me.” The boy mumbles gesturing at the pizza box.

 

“I think you should clean up your wounds first.”

 

“I’ll be okay.” He whines.

 

“You must have some type of bandages around here.” Seidou looks around the room.

 

“I might have some in my closet.”

 

The white haired man finds a roll of bandages and wraps one around Juuzou’s thigh wincing at the pain he had caused him.

 

“I’ll change it in the morning, okay?” The Ghoul says.

 

“No need. The CCG has an infirmary. I could always go there, plus you’re not a doctor.”

 

“At least I tried.” He grumbles.

 

“I know, and thank you for trying to make it better.” Juuzou smiles at him.

 

The raven reaches over and sets the pizza box on his lap.”You can have some too if you want.”

 

Seidou gives him a look.

 

“Oh yah, forgot that you’re a Ghoul now.” Juuzou giggles.

 

“I’m gonna use your shower.” The Ghoul says walking into the bathroom.

 

 

After washing all the blood of off his skin and hair Seidou finds Juuzou still in the same position on the bed. Though he did change his shirt into a baggy maroon sweater.

 

“I don’t think it’s good for me to stay here.” Seidou spoke up.

 

“Why do you think that?”

 

“What if someone finds me here with you? I mean I’m a traitor. To both the CCG and Aoigiri tree.”

 

“I’ll cover for you. You should stay here, it’s not like you don’t have anywhere to go. If you go back to Aoigiri, they’ll kill you, right?”

 

“Maybe.” The Ghoul mumbles.

 

“Stay here. Please just don’t leave me alone.” The raven embraces him in a hug wrapping his arms around his neck and Seidou presses a small a kiss against his bare shoulder.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. I Love You

“Awwww! I missed the ice cream truck!” Juuzou whines glancing at the truck that had just passed the apartment complex the next day.

“I can still catch him.” The Ghoul offers.

“If you can, that would be great.” The boy gives him a smile.

Seidou lunges forward using his ukaku kagunes to propel down the road after the ice cream truck. He catches up to the man and crashes himself against the windshield making the man hit the brakes.

“You can have all the ice cream in my truck! Just please don’t eat me!” The man pleads.

 

“Yay! Ice cream!” Juuzou meets up with them clapping his hands and the raven ends up with a powerpuff girls bubbles popsicle.

“That’ll be 6.50.” The man states holding out his hand.

“Uhhhh, I left my wallet up at the apartment. Do you think you can pay?” Juuzou glances at the white haired man.

“6.50??? You only got one thing.” Seidou raises an eyebrow.

“There’s was a three dollar up charge for the emotional distress you caused me.” The man answers. 

“Do you have change for a ten?” The Ghoul hands him a ten dollar bill.

“No.” He takes the money and drives off.

 

“How rude.” Juuzou gasps. “You could’ve killed him, you know.”

“It’s not worth it.” He shrugs his shoulders and they walk back up to the apartment. “You need to go to the infirmary before your leg gets infected or something.”

“I told you, I’ll be okay. Oh and I told them you’d be coming too.”

“Wait what?!?!??! I can’t go there! They won’t like me anymore!” The Ghoul declines. “Plus, I failed them. I can’t go back, I doubt they’d want a Ghoul on the team anyway.”

“If I can accept you, they can too. Akira really wants to see you, she misses you, Amon feels the same way too. I also want you to meet the Quinx squad as well.”

“The Quinx?” Seidou makes a face.

“Just some new guys at the CCG. No one is gonna do anything to you, they’d have to go through me first.” The raven pulls the Ghoul into a hug resting his face against his chest.

“You’ve been really huggy lately.”

Juuzou smiles at his comment.

 

The CCG building hasn’t changed since the last time Seidou has been here. The walls were the same beige white color, the tile floors were still a bit dirty, and the smell of linen disinfectant hit his nose. 

The Ghoul shyly followed after Juuzou to the infirmary. Sadly no one has recognized him. He saw a few people he worked with but they never said hi or anything. Maybe they don’t remember him.

“What did the doctor say?” Seidou asks as Juuzou exits the room.

“They gave me antibiotics and stitches. They gave me a little cast too. Wanna be the first to sign it?” He grabs a sharpie from the front desk handing it to the other.

“Sure.” The Ghoul smiles and writes something on Juuzou’s cast.

“What did you-“

 

“Juuzou!!!” The two were interrupted by a boy with tan skin and a green bob cut.

“Mucchan!” Juuzou embraces the other into a hug.

“Are you okay? I couldn’t get a hold of you at all yesterday. I got so worried.” He panicked.

“I’m okay.” The raven gives him a smile. “Just a minor injury.” He gestures at his leg. “Wanna sign it?”

“Yah! “ He exclaims grabbing the sharpie from Juuzou and writes on his cast.

“Um, Mucchan, this is Seidou and Seidou this is Mucchan.” Juuzou introduces the two. “Seidou used to be a part of the CCG.”

“Wait, you’re a Ghoul.” Mucchan’s eyes darken pulling out a knife.

“No! No, Mucchan! Seidou is the good guy!” Juuzou steps in front of the Ghoul.

“He’s the enemy!” The green haired boy snaps.

“No, he’s not! I promise. I know him and he saved me the other night.” Juuzou explains. “Seidou may not be a human anymore but he’s still the same person deep down. He’s human at heart.”

“If he tries anything, I won’t hesitate to eliminate him.” Mucchan puts the weapon away. 

“Thank you for understanding.” Seidou bows his head.

“Call me Mutsuki. Only Juuzou is allowed to call me Mucchan.” The green haired boy states before walking away.

“He’s pretty scary.” The Ghoul nervously rubs his arm. “Is there anymore like him?”

“Just a handful.” Juuzou gives him a smirk and Seidou sighs.

Every Quinx member gives the Ghoul a hard time but nonetheless they accept him since he was important to Juuzou. That didn’t mean they let their guard down around him.

 

A figure with blonde hair catches Seidou’s eye. 

“Akira-san????” The Ghoul blurts out as their eyes connect. This was so weird. The name just came to him, how did he even know he was speaking to the right person?

“It’s you???” Akira lets out a gasp. “Seidou-kun???”

“The one and only!” Juuzou exclaims earning a few glares from people a mile away.

“How are you? Are you okay? Where are you sleeping? Are you hungry?” She holds his hands. 

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

“It’s my job to worry about you! I thought you were dead!” The blonde slaps his arm. “And to think you come back out of nowhere!”

“How long?” She asks. “Have you been a Ghoul?”

“I don’t know.” Is his reply. “I’m sorry Akira-san, I let you and everyone else down.”

“I don’t think you’re a failure.” She shakes her head. “The real question is what are you gonna do with yourself? Are you gonna come back and fight with us or do you have some other place to be?”

“Well.” Seidou rubs his arm. “I was hoping you guys would take me back in. If not, I understand.” 

She stays silent pressing her lips together.

“I think it would be great to have you back on the team again. We could definitely use you.” The blonde smiles up at him. “But. . .”

“But what???” Juuzou frowns.

“It’s not my decision to make. Everyone in the CCG has to agree or at least more than half has to agree.” She states.

“Oh.” The Ghoul looks at the ground. 

“Don’t get your hopes up.” Akira pinches his cheek. “Maybe you’ll fit in with the Quinx squad.” 

“I don’t know. They don’t seem to like me very much. Especially Mutsuki.” 

“What did Mutsuki do to you? I’ll have a talk with him.” Akira demanded.

“No no its nothing.” He nervously laughs shaking her off. 

 

“Oooooo Akira-San, want to sign my cast?” Juuzou gestures at his leg changing the subject.

“Sure.” She gives him a small smile and Juuzou hands her the black sharpie.

“Seidou, I promise you’ll get your spot back in the CCG. Akira-san and I will fight for you.” Juuzou states staring straight into the Ghoul’s eyes.

“Juuzou.” The other slightly blushes.

“Is something going on between you two that I should know about????” Akira raises an eyebrow with a hand on her hip. 

“We’re just glad to see each other again!” Juuzou embraces the Ghoul into a hug. 

“I’m glad to see you guys too. Get well soon Juuzou-kun. Seidou-kun, don’t worry, you belong to the CCG, you always have and you always will.” She walks away her heels clicking.

 

The walk home was silent. The two strolled down the sidewalk hand in hand. Seidou wanted to know what was on Juuzou’s mind and why he was so quiet. It wasn’t like him. Did the Ghoul do something?

“Are you okay?” Seidou asks as they enter the raven’s apartment.

“Yah, just scared what the others will say about you.” 

“If they don’t want me, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.” He shrugs his shoulders. “You’re the only one I care about. Your opinion matters compared to thousands of others.” 

“Thanks but I still won’t feel happy about it. How cool would it be if we actually get to fight side by side together? We would be unstoppable! Plus you have cool Ghoul powers now!” Juuzou exclaims waving his hands all over the place like a kid.

“Yah it would be nice.” He hums. 

“I mean you’re still the same person. I don’t know why people care if someone is a Ghoul or not. If a Ghoul is genuinely a good person at heart then why does it matter?” 

“Well we kinda need to eat human flesh to survive.” Seidou mentions. “But I think I can change that.”

“How???”

“I wanna find a way to where Ghouls don’t have to eat human flesh. You know, Ghouls like me, who don’t want to eat on innocent people.” The Ghoul states. 

“If you put your mind to it, I’m sure you can.” Juuzou gives him a smile. “I wanna take a shower. Can you help me?” 

“You sure?” He raises an eyebrow

“Why not? We’ll take one together!” 

 

Seidou wraps Juuzou’s leg into a trash bag after the raven undressed.

“Is it okay? Or is it too tight?” The Ghoul questions.

“It feels fine.”

“I’ll just get another bag just in case.”

“Seidou, it’s fine, I promise!” The raven whines.

“I just don’t want your cast to get wet.” Seidou wraps his leg into another trash bag. “I’ll carry you to the shower.” 

He picks up the other bridle style and sets Juuzou on the bench in the shower.

“What about you?” He glances at the Ghoul.

“I’ll be there shortly. Hang tight.” 

Seidou changes out of his cloak and pants not wanting to keep Juuzou waiting. 

 

“What happened?” Juuzou asks pointing at the cuts on Seidou’s back as he turns on the water.

“It doesn’t matter now.” The Ghoul smiles at him pulling Juuzou to his chest.

“Wash my hair.” Juuzou turns away from him leaning his head back.

Seidou gently strokes his fingers through the other’s soft tresses letting it soak in the strawberry shampoo the raven had. He could however see some white stands at the roots of his hair. 

 

Next, he uses the bath loofah to cleanse Juuzou pale skin. The Ghoul didn’t realize how beautiful Juuzou really was. How is he so lucky a boy like him would be with him?

Seidou presses a kiss against the other’s bare shoulder.

“Kiss me, please.” Juuzou turns around wrapping his arms around his neck.

The Ghoul smashes his lips against his with so much force Juuzou almost whimpers. He gently rubs the other’s back letting him know he was sorry. Seidou presses Juuzou against the wall and allows Juuzou to wrap his legs around his waist. 

 

I love this boy so much, Seidou thought as he places kisses against the raven’s jawline, his fingers caressing his bare side.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?” Seidou whispers in Juuzou’s neck.

“Don’t stop.” The raven mutters into his shoulder. “Feels good.” 

Juuzou turns his neck a little more so Seidou can give him more kisses there. He couldn’t help but moan when the Ghoul reaches his collarbone. Plus he was stroking his thigh at the same time, Juuzou felt like he could die full of pleasure. 

“If you want, we can continue to your room. I don’t want to keep the shower running nor keep your leg in a trash bag.” Seidou kisses his lips.

“Ok.” 

He sets the raven down gently and turns off the shower. 

The Ghoul carries Juuzou to his bed after drying him off setting him down and taking the trash bags around his leg. 

 

While Seidou was in the kitchen Juuzou turns his leg to see what Seidou had written on his cast. 

In the Ghoul’s handwriting was the words “I love you, Juuzou.”


	4. Welcome to the CCG!

Juuzou’s heart wouldn’t stop beating so fast. Seidou truly does love him. He loved him death. His feelings for him hasn’t changed at all.

“Sorry, couldn’t remember which cabinet the trash bags belonged in.” Seidou enters the room.

“Just shut up and kiss me.” The raven orders dragging the Ghoul into the bed on top of him. 

Seidou places his hands at Juuzou’s waist returning the kiss ever so softly this time. He’s been putting the raven in too much pain these past few days. 

The Ghoul feels Juuzou running his fingers through his snow white tresses. Seidou pulls away and begans to leave a trail of kisses from Juuzou’s neck to his collarbone. 

The raven lets out a light moan when he felt Seidou suck on the skin of his shoulder. The Ghoul’s fingers were also caressing his back, his waist and his tummy and it all felt so good to the Raven. It made him feel wanted. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Seidou whispers moving his kisses down to Juuzou’s pale chest. 

“Only for you.” Juuzou smirks at the other. 

The Ghoul wraps an arm underneath the raven planting kisses against his flat tummy. Juuzou rests his legs against Seidou’s waist. 

Seidou moves down to the other’s hip bones playfully nibbling at them. Juuzou lightly giggles cause it tickled him. This was where Seidou belong. Here with Juuzou no matter where they were. The raven was home to him.

 

The following morning Seidou groggily sits up to the sun rays staring through the bedroom window. He glances at the sleeping raven beside him. Juuzou’s bedhead was a mess and Seidou can clearly see the hickies and marks he left on his shoulder and hip bones. Regardless, Seidou thought he was the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen.

Last night, they had sex for the very first time. Sure it had been difficult at first but after that they knew what to do. They knew what made the other feel good and what made them not feel so good. The Ghoul loved watching Juuzou arch his back when he hit a certain love spot and his moans were like music to him especially when he yells the Ghoul’s name. Seidou knew he had a million of scratches against his back but it was totally worth it.

 

The Ghoul leans over him planting kisses all over his face until he woke up. 

“Hmmm, it’s not morning yet.” Juuzou mumbles into the pillow.

“It’s eight to be exact.” Seidou stares at the digital clock on the night stand. “I think Akira-San even called you.” The Ghoul recalled hearing a buzzing noise a few hours earlier in his sleep.

“She’s just gonna have to wait. I need sleep.” The raven turns over facing away from Seidou.

 

The Ghoul grabs the raven’s phone on the night stand and calls back Akira.

“Juuzou-kun! Would it kill you to answer the phone?” Akira snaps.

“Uh, Juuzou is asleep at the moment. This is Seidou, Akira-San.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She nervously laughs. “I called about you. The CCG will only allow you if you pass the fitness test and thoroughly go through security guidelines. Plus you’ll be under surveillance at all times on CCG premises and the Quinx squad agreed to take you under their wing.” 

“I have to take the fitness test again!? That was hell!” 

“You’ll be fine.” The blonde sighs. “I think it’ll be easier for you now since you’re a Ghoul. What do you say, Seidou-kun? Do you want your place at the CCG back?”

“Of course I want to be back in the CCG again.”

“The next fitness test for recruits is in a week. Do you best.” She hangs up the phone.

 

“Oi, are you gonna wake up or just sleep all day?” Seidou shakes the raven on the shoulder.

Juuzou sits up rubbing his eyes. “You’re so mean, Seidou. I need at least 20 hours of beauty sleep.”

“That’s impossible since you’re beautiful already.” The Ghoul pulls the other in his arms and showered him with kisses as he tickled his sides and tummy.

“Eeeep! Stop it, Seidou!” Juuzou bursts into fits of laughter struggling in his grasp. 

 

The past few days Seidou and Juuzou would go to abandon areas to spar each other. The raven wanted to help the Ghoul pass the fitness test. 

 

“Not fair!” Juuzou whines laying on the ground. “I wish I had kagunes!”

“Trust me. You don’t.” Seidou chuckles. “You’re strong already.”

“Not strong like you. I used to be the strong one.” The raven pouts.

“You still are. I’m kind of still learning how to use these things.” He gestures at his kagunes.

“Can I?” Juuzou asks.

“Okay.” The Ghoul allowed the raven to touch his kagunes.

“Oooo! So cool!” The boy exclaims stroking a kagune. “I’m so jealous!”

“It’s nothing to go crazy about.” A small blush appears on Seidou’s cheeks. 

“You’ll definitely pass the fitness test. Just like Akira-San said, since you’re a Ghoul now it should be a piece of cake for you. When you were human you barely passed, right?” 

“Yah.”

“I wouldn’t be so worried. I’ll tell the Quinx squad to play nice.” 

“It’s fine Juuzou. I’m not that afraid of them. They just don’t know me that’s all.” The Ghoul nervously rubs his arms.

 

It’s been a week since Seidou has been a part of the CCG. His comrades consisted of the Quinx squad and Juuzou who would sometimes join them. Urie and Mutsuki were neutral towards the Ghoul. Only talking if they needed to. However Haise, Saiko, and Shirazu were very friendly to him. 

“Juuzou, what’s going on?” Seidou questions after the raven had wrapped a blindfold over his eyes as they walked up to the apartment.

“It’s a surprise!” Juuzou singsongs. 

“I don’t know if I should be scared or excited.”

“I think you’ll really like this.” The raven smiles at him opening the door to his apartment.

 

Seidou removes the blindfold finding the Quinx squad in the living room with a “congradulayshuns” sign hanging above them.

“I think one of y’all needs to go back to second grade again.” Juuzou jokes.

“What’s all of this?” Seidou questions.

“Can’t you tell? It’s a party welcoming you into the CCG hon.” Haise smiles at the Ghoul. 

“Wow thank you guys, you didn’t have to do this.” 

“It was all Juuzou’s idea!” Saiko exclaims. “We all just went with it!” 

“You’re okay with this, right?” The raven looks up at him.

“Yah! This was really nice of you.” He gives the boy a smile.

“Turn up the music!” Shirazu orders to Urie who gave him a glare.

 

“Come on over here and cut the cake.” Haise orders to the Ghoul dragging him into the kitchen.

“Happy Birthday?” Seidou raises an eyebrow at the cake.

“They didn’t have a congratulations cake.” Shirazu shrugs his shoulders. 

“Well that’s okay. It’s the thought that counts.” The white haired man chuckles. 

 

“Oh, Urie-kun? You’re here???” Haise asks as Urie walks into the kitchen.

“I only came cause Mutsuki told me to.” He blandly states. 

“Where is he anyway?” Saiko glances around the room.

“He went to pick up the pizza.” Juuzou answers. “Is the cake ready?”

“I guess you can have the first slice.” Haise offers cutting him a piece.

“Me next!” Saiko raises her hand.

“You guys go ahead. Not like I can eat it.” Seidou gestures moving out of the way.

 

Soon enough Mutsuki comes back with two boxes of pizza.

“Which one of you bitches ate the pepperonis off my pizza?” Shirazu states gesturing at his now plain cheese pizza.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help my self.” Saiko giggles.

 

The whole night everyone was having a good time. Dancing Music was blaring out the speakers. Seidou and Juuzou were in the living room dancing like they were at the CCG ball again. Urie and Mutsuki were dancing as well shyly moving their bodies to the music. Haise didn’t get to the dance floor until his boyfriend Hide showed up. 

 

Shirazu and Saiko were too invested in a video game on their phones to dance. 

“That was a great party, Juuzou-kun. Let’s do it again sometime.” Mutsuki smiles at the raven.

“Yah totally!” Juuzou agreed.

“Welcome to the CCG, Seidou. I’m sorry I was so mean to you.” Mutsuki bows his head at the Ghoul.

“It’s okay.” He accepts the green haired boy’s apology.

 

Both Mutsuki and Urie say their goodbyes walking out the door.

“I’m beat!” Shirazu groans stretching his arms.

“All you did was sit your ass on the chair and play games.” Haise teases.

“Saiko got me into it. I don’t even like video games that much. Well, I’m out. I’ll see you guys soon. Congratulations Buddy.” He pats Seidou on the shoulder before walking out the door.

“Bye!” Saiko waves at them before following after the blonde. 

“I guess we better get going too.” Haise looks at his boyfriend. 

Hide nods his head. 

 

Seidou wanted to know what happened to Hide. He wore a scarf on the lower half of his face. Whenever he talked he sounded like he was in pain. Did he have an injury???

“We’ll see you guys later. We had a great time.” Haise says to the raven and the Ghoul. 

Hide nods his head at both Juuzou and Seidou and they walk out the door.

 

“This is nice what you did for me.” Seidou says to Juuzou kissing him on the forehead.

“I wanted Akira-San to come but she was busy tonight.”

“Regardless I had a fun time. Thank you.”

“Awwww, you’re welcome Sei-chan!” Juuzou flings his arms around the other.

“Juuzou!” Seidou loses his balance and they fall onto the cold hard ground.

“Sorry.” Juuzou evilly smirks down at the other.

The Ghoul pulls him closer for a kiss wrapping an arm around his waist.

 

This was where he belonged. Here with Juuzou no matter where.


End file.
